Celebrity What Not to Wear

My favorite guilty please is What Not to Wear, the only TLC series that is not voyeurism about little people or programs concerning very outre folks.  Women simply not aware they were pregnant or men who wieigh 600 pounds and ard surprisingly are still a virgin.

One of the downsides of watching WNTW is the non-stop promos for the other shows.  I.e., cake makers and families with children in the double digits.

I am from New Jersey but if I have to hear that Soprano wannabe baker mouth off with no "r's" one more time, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

Back to WNTW.  It is my dream to meet with Stacy and Clinton privately.  No camera crews.  Just some lattes and a few suggestions.

In my dream, I would spend most of the time getting the make-up, since I presently wear none.  But my wardrobe is pretty fabulous.  Thanks to my mother, innate taste and the number of hours I have logged watching WNTW.

But wouldn't it be fun to bring public figures on the show?

Dick Cheney.  The hosts would have to find well tailored suits that hid the tail. Creamy Italian leather loafers can mask the cloven hooves. Nick Arrojo, the hair stylist, could find a way to hirsute camouflage the horns.

President Obama.  Just any pants that will complement a tee-shirt with an arrow, I'm with Stupid.  Pointing of course, to all the Wall Street folks who have taken over the Treasury Department.

Michelle Obama, is actually doing just fine.  Keep promoting American designers and clothing companies.

Senator Baucus - a turncoat.

Congressman Joe Wilson, R. SC - a straight jacket.  To be shared with Glenn Beck.  

Rudy Guiliani -  I guess he dresses okay; he needs a competent fact checker before going on television.

Sarah Palin- she already gamed the RNC out of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of clothing.  She's good.

Rush Limbaugh-  trousers and polo shirts from the Big and Tall shop.  Plus a modern dictionary with the definition of teabagging,

John Yoo just needs accessories.  Whip, black hood, a board and plenty of water.

Bill O'Reilly- whatever predators wear.

The so called liberal media-  the usual expensive suit and RNC badges.

George H.W. Bush- hairshirt, sackcloth and ashes. 

The Supreme Court of 2000, tar and feathers.

George W.-  an orange jumpsuit.

For all that is holy, even though John Yoo was just exonerated by the Obama Justice Department, indict his boss, George W. Bush.