barbara friedland

Instant Karma

Okay, John Lennon.  Karma is not usually instant, like oatmeal.  That would be great.

If so, every time Dick Cheney opened his mouth, a bolt of lightening would pierce him like a bad seamstress with the DT's.

Or whatever you call folks who poke holes in people's scrotums and foreheads.

If karma worked a little faster, old George W. would be in the Down and Out Mission a few miles from Dallas.

Drunk and babbling.

I know he was always babbling and probably often drunk, but continually buffeted by the stolen office of President and his family's clout.

I am a Buddhist, thus thrust into the ways of karma.  It is a law, I am told, like gravity.  One does not have to believe it to be at the effect of it.

As in Newton be damned, I am just going to stroll out from this 39th story window.

Splat.

Well, gravity chugs along with rapidity.  As in fall down, go boom.

Karma might not even manifest this lifetime.

A corollary of Karma, is that people with fortune are confronted with their causes in a short time.  Meaning, that one has the opportunity and presumably the incentive to change behaviors.  

Fast.

It is the unfortunate who glide through life- cowardly, stupid and evil only to touch down to collect more speaking fees.

I do see evidence of the law of cause and effect re:  Sarah Palin.

It would seem all too unfair.  That this lazy, uneducated, finger pointing quitter would glom onto so much money, fame and following.

The universe would seem askew, awry, if she could blissfully flit from one lie to another, grasping hands always reaching for what she doesn't deserve.

But thank goodness, there is Levi.  With stories.  Photo spreads.  And now, again kudos to the universe, a court custody battle for little Trigg.

Thank you, whomever is in charge.

Since karma is hobbling around in regard to old George W.. let's goose it along.

INDICT HIM.

What's in a name?

Ah yes.  Shakespeare.  The answer today is your age.

What with botox and exercise, in addition to plastic surgery, it is very difficult to assess the longevity of certain folks.

Some people have great genes.  Dick Clark, having survived a stroke and confined to a wheelchair still has appears to be young.

Okay youngish.  

There are groups that meld together.  Most of Congress look like rich, old white guys.  And act like such.

The guards for the Senate and House once were forced  to memorize the pictures of all 535 representatives. 

Maybe they still do. After all, one corrupt fat cat resembles another.  And pity the poor staff person who questions the guy representing Boise, Iowa from entering the chambers.

I believe they all presently wear badges or some sort of identification.  Each member should also list the industries they shill for: in alphabetical order.

But I digress.

It seems that names generally have an expiration date. All the appellations of my friends growing up, sound old and stale.

Susan and Sally.  Linda, Lynn, Debbie and yes, Barbara.

Some names regenerate like a phoenix.  My mother hated Sophie but lived long enough to see it become very popular.  People from the Bible wane in and out, with Noah and Jeremiah occasionally bubbling to the surface.

Many antiquated or ethnic examples might never return in large numbers.  Irving and Hymie.  Bertha, Bella and Beatrice.

To cite just a few examples.

I have witnessed the great surname as first name.  Yes, that would be you Tyler.  And Taylor.  And so on.

Gender blending.  Sydney and Kelsey.  By the way, that was the only restriction Dario initially posited on naming our son.  He didn't want anything that could go "both ways" as he stated.  He added a second caveat when he learned that I would honor my father, named Kermit.  So Kermit landed in the middle of Jonathan's full address.  

It would have been first if not for: a.  the frog and b. the issue I had with calling my son my father's name.

But I digress again.

Rivers and counties of Ireland had a strong showing a generation ago.

In a blink of an eye, there will be geriatric Jessicas lining up for their hip replacement surgery.  And scores of Brittanys, with every conceivable spelling, playing shuffleboard.

Some stalwarts remain.  John and James.  Julia and Julie.  Other names present different iterations of nickname.

Elizabeth is still a favorite, with less Peggys and more Lizs.

So, as I spin and go to pilates and try to live a healthy lifestyle, I must change one thing.  Just call me Barrie.

And indict Bush.

Phony trophies

When my son was younger, he played on several teams each year:  indoor and outdoor soccer as well as baseball.

In middle school, he attended chess tournaments which provided individual victories as well as those for teams.

While in high school, he wrestled and thus added these matches to his athletic activities.

Except for wrestling, which was a school based sport and not for a rec center, Jonathan received trophies every season.

Win or lose.  It didn't matter.  All children went home with booty.

Often, his team did win and thus the inscription on the statuette would be different.  It would acknowledge first place.

This ritual made his father apoplectic.  "Too much political correctness," he would rant.  He, Dario not his son, believed that trophies for everyone devalued said achievement and provided recognition when none was merited.

I thought it harmless enough, especially for young boys and girls.  All toted home prizes and the true winners had the additional benefit of knowing they were the best in the league in their age group.

I remember when Jonathan was 8 or 9 years of age.  His team played their arch rivals in the soccer finals. They went into the third game tied, which would determine the tournament champions.  My son's team won in overtime.  It was exciting and those children carried the pride with them.

During my renovation, a few of the fake trophies, as well as the legitimate ones, were damaged.  Most survived, but when unpacking them, Jonathan decided he no longer wanted any.

Now as I look around I see that this feel good theory of positive reinforcement for children has gone berserk in the adult world.

We are rewarding the villains.  

Ben Bernanke is Time's Man of the Year.  For what?  Missing the housing market meltdown which ignited the financial crisis?

Is it a sarcastic homage?  

George W. Bush, total failure, loser and coward, got the ultimate gold ring.  President of the United States.  

And he didn't even win.

Either time.  Better than some trophy.

He was no slouch at handing out, shall we say, ironic awards.

Paul Bremmer was honored for his service.  At the time, he just looked like an incompetent.  Now it is clear that his actions directly resulted in the terror  activities in Iraq and probably cost our country the capture of Bin Laden.

George Tenet, former CIA head who said that proving Hussein had WMD's was a slam dunk, was also presented with the Medal of Freedom.

Glenn Beck, who can't help the fact that he is beyond homely, has secured hosting a television show. Without demonstrating any level of class, intelligence or talent.

Sarah Palin, who apparently has never read a book, was given a 7 figure publishing contract.  And the Washington Post printed an Op Ed piece crafted by her ghost writer or staff.  To fairly represent the former Governor, the column was wrong, stupid and contradicted statements Palin had already made.

Many unfunny comedians- no oxymoron- have been rewarded with lucrative gigs and programming deals.

Airheads and egomanical folks are getting reality shows.  

Decades ago, President Richard Nixon appointed Elvis as a special deputy to fight drug abuse.

Ironic?  Perplexing? Definitely. But Elvis had talent and his addictions did not surface until his death.  Still, it was a harbinger of things to come.

Financiers who have at best, made idiotic calculations and at worst broke untold number of laws to peddle toxic bundles, are getting bonuses.

Not jail time but more money.

Bill O'Reilly, documented  sexual harasser and probable pervert, whines that he only thinks about the children. And some people actually believe him.  My question:  these musing about the youth, Mr. Reilly- in what context?

The final example today is  a person who said that he represented change and hope now ostensibly appears to be simply the same goods in another package.  Perhaps just a front for Wall Street and the defense industry?  Maybe simply a non patriot who refuses to face the treason of his predecessor?  Or in fact,  he needs to begin being the change he promised.

President Obama, it is time to distinguish yourself. It is not too late.

Of course, Indict Bush.

Joe- go home- Lieberman

At first I thought that the Senator from the Nutmeg  State made me ashamed of being Jewish.

He has morphed from a whiny, disloyal and incompetent boob to a public sector quisling and shill for the insurance industry.

But rather, I am embarrassed at sharing homo sapien status with him.  

Not just with this pathetic man but with too many leaders entrusted with the greater good.

It is horrifying to imagine that I breathe the same air as cruel soldiers in Africa, killing young children while raping and torturing their fellow country men.  And especially women.

We are share the same DNA.  It just arranges itself differently on people and arrives with mutations and specific attributes.  Also, folks are plunked down in different areas during a variety of historical eras.

Thus, I am the same as the woman shrieking in pain as her infant is cast upon a pyre.  And I am no different from the thug who grabbed the baby from her arms.

As a planet, we have to realized that pain which just one person feels, diminishes us all.  If only a few are in need or hungry, that means we as a species are lacking. Sadly, there are millions.

Life is hard and presents everyone with difficult choices.  The best basis of reasoning that I have found is to discern if the ramifications of any action will hurt or help.  Harm or heal.

Get that Dick Cheney?  

Public officials, elected in the manner set out by our Constitution, who only represent business interests, have destroyed us.  And doomed our nation.

Leaders must speak for the people.  Their actions should be analyzed in regard to long term effects as well as immediate benefits.

I don't care who pulled the lever for Max Baucus. His corrupt and probably illegal stance is a bane to us all.

When did our government sell out the people completely?

Did it begin with Reagan?  

Many Presidents have fought industry and prejudice at great risk to their careers. 

Lyndon Johnson slashed through beliefs he culled from growing up in the south to marshall through the most comprehensive civil rights legislation in our history.

Teddy Roosevelt-  a Republican no less- went after monopolistic industries like the big game he also hunted.

His  patrician cousin, FDR, crafted a series of government programs to provide a minimum safety net to the poor and elderly.

At some point in time, people became numbers on a balance sheet.  Layoffs meant higher profits without a lot of thought in regard to the discarded workers.

America stopped making things.  We import virtually all merchandise.  Our only native industry seems to be bundling paper together and reselling it.  

Who benefits from that except a knot of greedy financiers?

GM made a multitude of mistakes. But at least it made a product.  A tangible thing that people could buy and use.

Unless folks were without jobs, because they were thought to be simply overhead.

All I want from leaders is for them to be more like James Madison.  Okay, very few are as brilliant.

He wrote our Constitution and then co-authored the Federalist Papers to explain the concepts to citizens.

Now, this great treatise is fodder for bird cages.  Our rights are eclipsed as easily as folks are thrown out of their homes.

Madison and many of the Founding Fathers believed in the greater good.

All leaders- of government, finance and media- need to make that their personal credo.

Or go home.

Too bad the citizens of Connecticut couldn't prevent Lieberman from returning to the Upper House after he lost in the Democratic primary.  We are all diminished by his perfidy.

Indict Bush. 

And the Ethics Committees of both houses need to examine the link between campaign contributions from the health care industry writ large and amendments to the poor beleaguered health care bill.

Elizabeth Berg

is a talented writer.  I just finished one of her novels and it will be the only Berg book that I shall ever read.

She takes words and cunningly finds the exact semantic sequence to shift prose into poetry.

I imagine her, searching for the exact phrase, like artists seek colors and musicians find the right notes.

I can also testify to her prowess because I hate the protagonist of the novel:  The Pull of the Moon.

OMG as the kids would say.  If this is chicklit- then get me Edgar Allen Poe.

I have never read so called women's books.  From feminists' screeds to the predicable romance novels, there seems to be nothing of interest for me.

In fact, and I have dozens of friends who would swoon at the thought, but spare me the Brontes and Jane Austen.  Only a spinster could have created Mr. Darcy.

But I digress.  Back to Nan.  This character is fifty and has lead a charmed life.  No real tragedies.  She marries fairly young, her husband prospers and their daughter matures into solid adulthood.

Still, Nan flees, I guess with her spouse's AMEX card, to, dare I say it, "find herself."

On her road trip, Nan obsesses over every bump and slight in her life and marriage.  We get to read about the times her husband ignored her.

Take that women in Darfur. 

As she lallygags from Boston to points west, she spends money without shame or care and meets the most boring people on the planet.

As she reviews her life of privilege, one fact becomes clear.  She one of the most selfish characters in print- including Blanche DuBois.  Who at least was fascinating.

We learn about Nan's imagined grudges through letters she writes to her temporarily abandoned husband and a journal she keeps.

Finally, after emotional blackmail, manipulation and a demand for a custom built new home that she will control, Nan heads back.

But Berg has crafted this monster so vividly, that I continue to despise her.  I am afraid that she is meant to represent every women reaching middle age.  

Please God, no.

Indict Bush.

Pete Seeger for President

My mother, who was the kindest person I have ever known had a cynical streak that came from absolute wisdom.  She was so insightful about human nature.

Which of course added to her skepticism.  What she always told me is that we don't know the real story.

When I was very young, I believed hype.  The carefully constructed reports, about either young actors or politicians had to be true or it couldn't be said.

If the lives of pleasure and accomplishment were false, I reasoned, then they would be uncovered, revealed and shamed.

No, my mother would insist, it wasn't always what folks said.

Since my parents never lied, I went out into the world believing that the majority of people did not.  Of course I realized that some would prevaricate, exaggerate and simply omit vital facts.

My mother's life credo seems to be taken from Arthur Miller's Death of A Salesman.  At one point Willy Loman runs into the father of the boy his own sons had bullied and teased.  Somehow Loman learned that now, as an adult, the young man had argued a case before the Supreme Court.  He asked the father why he bragged through paternal pride.  The other replied that if someone actually does something, it doesn't need to be talked about it.

Thus, not only did she not burnish her own saga but my mother downplayed all that she did.  Of course that was her nature as well as any insight she gained from reading.

She would be appalled at America today.  The only sins she recognized- in addition to capital crimes- were waste and lying.

I don't know how she could handle our culture.  

Because there is no one left to admire except Pete Seeger.

Of course my mother never pledged any loyalty to celebrities or athletes.  She would not have been upset by the revelations of a Tiger Woods or a Mel Gibson because she had no emotional investment.  In fact, in regard to Gibson, she could not have been surprised since she believed that many people are anti-Semitic. 

He was drunk, I imagine her saying, and thus the truth came out.  Of course his movie about Jesus was a clue.  But I digress.

What I don't understand is good people believing in frauds.  From Sarah Palin to George Bush ad nauseum,  the landscape is littered with folks who have misrepresented every aspect of their lives.

Womanizing golf players aside, it is our leaders- in finance, government and the media- who seem the most lacking in principles and honesty.

I am certain that there are many good people, like my parents.  They do their jobs with integrity, raise their families with love and wisdom and support the ideals of our nation and the world.

But in terms of public figures, my heart belongs to the old folksinger.

Through music and his incredible life, he fought racism, war, nuclear proliferation and cleaned up the Hudson River.  Just to name a few of his many accomplishments.

Pete Seeger for President.

Indict Bush.

Sheila Dixon again

Okay.  It was crummy and stupid.  Sheila Dixon took some gift cards from a developer.  He may or may not have thought they were for charity

When the dust cleared, the trial finished and the jury verdict was in- she was convicted on one count for misappropriation of less than a grand.

Here is why I can't get upset-  and by the way, my mother was right. If you are going to steal, steal really big. 

Right Goldman Sach?  You too... fill in the blank from Halliburton to AIG.

Back to the Mayor of Baltimore.  She has a tough job that is ostensibly impossible to execute.  I like her.  

Next in line-  not so much.  The President of the City Council has shown herself to be petty, nasty, racist and way too impressed with herself.

But the real reason I don't care about Dixon's recent conviction can be summed up  by the word priorities.

Let's say that my son has been kidnapped, folks are embezzling from my accounts, intruders have entered my house and someone has disturbed a potted plant on the perimeter of my yard.

First order of business is to secure the safe release of my son.  The person putting him in peril would have been George W. Bush if I had allowed that traitor to take to my boy for an illegal and poorly planned war.

Next- stop the theft of my finances-  Wall Street- and finally,arrest those who have illegally entered my house. ( No analogies here. ) Finally, and this would be equivalent to what the Mayor of Baltimore did- put that garden container in an upright position and ascertain that the wisteria is unharmed.

With all the illegal, immoral, treasonous and horrific political acts that went down in the past decade- who cares about a few hundred dollars?

Prosecute Cheney-   he is on the record about torture.   Arrest Karl Rove-  C'mon Fitzgerald, you found nothing? Really.  He broke laws with impunity for years.

Bring Bush before a global tribunal and demonstrate that we Americans are not monsters even if some of our leaders are.

Leave Tiger Woods alone to contemplate the dissolution of his marriage and start scoping out the Wall Street crowd for their peccadilloes.

Maybe they won't get bonuses when it is disclosed what they do sexually.  And if someone wants to investigate the meltdown, many would go to jail.

Do not pass go, do not collect 2 million dollars.

Stop criticizing the waitress who is a few minutes late with your sandwich because the kitchen is backed up.

Or even if she needed a break.

It is time to hold people in power accountable.

President Obama.  Start doing your job.  Of course this country was broken when you were elected.  The damage of Bush/Cheney is astonishing even when considering their evil and amoral natures.  But it is up to the current administration to start fixing the damage.  It is like bailing out the ocean with teaspoons, but begin.

Kick out the Wall Street crowd- slam down on Congress for true health reform and make certain that the war crimes of this century are punished.

Indict Bush.

Tiger Tiger burning bright.

I am astonished at the meteoric drop in popularity experienced by Mr. Tiger Woods, with the revelations of several, okay more than a dozen, mistresses.

Companies, that in aggregate together with his golf winnings paid him a billion or so dollars over his career, are dropping him like he is spreading swine flu.

Pundits have weighed in.  The problem, some intone, is that Woods has projected a perfect father and husband image over the years.  An impeccably honorable man.

Who in their right minds does that?

Why craft a brand that is destined to implode since we are all, even athletes, fallible.

I thought the women and the Tiger issue would blow over but it promises to be a long siege.  Females- of a certain type- are popping in alarming numbers.

Some students in my marketing class think he might be a sex addict.  Not really.  It averages out to be one or two gals a year.  The total number equal to what many other celebrities see in an extended evening.

Many have tsked tsked  his forsaking of black women for extramarital pleasure.  Dur- have you seen Mrs. Woods?  No surprises here.

Frankly, there are a handful of people who can legitimately claim to be aggrieved.  His wife, her family, his kids.  Extended relatives.

Maybe his manager.  Unless Woods' people were securing the women for him.

My take on this is he is an athlete and apparently no one died.  Two wars weren't begun in haste and ignorance and the economy wasn't driven to crash.

Frankly, sexual impropriety, unless involving unwilling partners or children, is a non issue.  I do not care what turns on the gang at Goldman Sachs.

Just investigate all the laws that were broken by that company.  

Tiger Woods was and is a phenomenal golfer.  He gave the sport juice and generated interest.  Prior to him, we are talking old white guys in funny looking pants.

But that devolves down to taking a stick with an oblong extension and hitting a white ball.  As the skit on the most recent SNL demonstrates-  he is not a public official who broke dozen of laws and ethics rulings while remaining in office.

I now segue to the fact that my garbage was not collected yesterday.  Since Baltimore City trash team only comes once a week, it is a problem.

I just called, reported the problem and the truck came back today.  Many of my neighbors complain bitterly when this occurs.  I understand that trucks get full, leave the route to dump the contents, return and some addresses might be overlooked.  Generally, these folks work hard, under terrible conditions for very little pay.  

Overall, the job is executed well.

Imagine if George W. Bush was assigned to a garbage truck.  If he even showed up for work.  Sober.  And didn't leave midday to cop several hours of gym time.

He still would do a terrible job.

Let's use the prism of judgement in accordance to the job and the act.  Tiger Woods is a randy athlete.

 George W. Bush is a war criminal.

Indict the latter.

Dana Milbank 8 degrees of segregation

Segregation.

Okay, I know its a bad word.  It has come to mean a time in our nation's history when blacks were separated from whites and backed by the legal system to support this chasm.  It was morally reprehensible and ultimately overturned.

However, segregation can cull two groups that should never be together.  

How many fire fighters- dedicated public servants - party with arsonists?

Are prisoners invited to the Warden's holiday party?

Should bartenders advertise at AA meetings?

Most importantly, in order to protect our nation, the media must stay away from the people whom they cover.

That means political reporters can not socialize with members of Congress or the Executive branch.

Financial experts, expounding on the nuances of the economy, should not go golfing with a gang from Goldman Sachs.

What has happened to investigative journalism?  It has joined the ranks of the so called liberal press and unicorns.  

No one needs to have their picture taken with the President to be able to dissect the flaws in his foreign policy. And report in the newspaper the following day.

The orgy of betray known as the Correspondents' Dinner should be eliminated.  First of all, irrelevant celebrities were drifting in like tumbleweed.  And journalists, okay a television one, did a break dance with Karl Rove.

Karl Rove needs to be watched by several Congressional committees and a platoon of reporters at any given time.

When one covets fun time with the subjects of their scrutiny, it can and has affected objectivity.

I know that power is exhilarating but it is all just derived not real.  Standing next to President Obama and the first lady allows one to drink in a scent of authority and capacity that does not belong to them.

In fact, media should be disdainful or outright disgusted at the people they cover.

Seriously, who could be with the duplicitous, evil and whining Joe Lieberman and not want to throw up?  Or better yet,  real reporters should prepare a series of articles exposing him for the fraud and industry shill that he really is.

You won't find Matt Taibbi gushing over Harry Reid.  Or President Obama for that matter.

And that what makes him a good journalist.  He has proven his investigative prowess over and over again.

Dana Milbank, be grateful that you were excluded from the White House event for ostensible journalists.  It proves that you are doing your job.

Indict Bush.

Tiger Woods

I have refrained from commenting on the Tiger Woods imbroglio.  Just like the scene in the movie Casablanca- the Inspector is shocked, shocked, that gambling is happening at Rick's.

An athlete, rich and handsome, in fine physical condition who travels as part of his career, strayed?

Seriously?  Is that even possible?

Frankly, the only real surprise from the sports community in recent years is Michael Vick and dog torture.

And the fact that a football team signed him after prison.

Or Michael Oher and his incredible adopted family.

But girlfriends?  You have got to be kidding me.

Once the Pandora's box of mistresses was thrust open, an endless conga line of long legged women who claimed to share a bed with Woods, kept tumbling out.

Eugene Robinson, one of the few remaining liberal voices for Washington Post, has speculated that Woods needs validation and is insecure, as evidenced by the seemingly infinite iteration of women who resemble each other.

He claims that the famous golfer likes the distaff side who resemble Barbie, the Mattel cash cow.

Maybe Woods really is attracted to loose gals- be real here- slender, with long hair and blondish.

If he were white, having a type like this would not make him less of a man or self-hating.

Robinson, who is black, seems to miss the point here.  It is not how the women look but the fact that they are counter to Woods image as being wholesome and happily married.

Actually, to me, that is not germane at all.

I don't care what he does.  I am not married to him and would not be influenced by any of his endorsements.

Why consumers follow the paid recommendations of celebrities and athletes, baffles me.  From a marketing perspective I can proffer that it works like word of mouth but better.  People long to be friends with Woods or Beyonce or Jordon.  So when their imaginary pals are telling them which car or hair coloring to buy, some folks actually listen and follow through. 

Enough patronize such products that companies continue to pay millions of dollars for this type of advertising.

Mr. Robinson, that is in fact evidence of the need for self validation and possibly extreme self loathing  To seek out P. Diddy on the subject of liquor.

But I digress.  Back to Tiger Woods.

He cheated.  Okay.  A lot.  Again, okay.

And that is important.. how?

He plays golf well.  Only one person on this planet is his spouse and thus has reason for anger.

He didn't torture and drown dogs.  Something morally reprehensible and makes one wonder about the conscience of such.

Or someone, as a boy tortured animals and grew up to be President.  (George W.Bush)

Sometimes it is the men who are not straying that engender the most damage.

If only Cheney bedded a lot of women, it would have distracted him from destroying our nation and the planet writ large.

Ditto for Bush, Gonzalez, Rumsfeld and the whole corrupt crew.  In fact, folks from the Obama camp are starting to resemble their predecessors. 

Get them mistresses.

STAT.

Today, as always, Indict Bush.