barbara friedland

Oh Sarah

Thank you for being you.

Going Rogue.  Isn't that when elephants stampede?

As in, "please former Governor who couldn't hack it Palin,

don't come to my state to campaign for me."

Seriously, how many times did Palin appear in New Jersey and/or

Virginia?

That would be nonce.

As in, not once.

If you want to win, she can't be part of the mix.

Wait, unless you are a Democrat.  Then, come on over Sarah Palin.

Maryland is a very blue state, but among the eight congressional districts

is a dyed in the wool one for the GOP and another that keeps tipping back and 

forth.  Please journey down to the lower 48, the east coast and campaign in either area.

Or both.

Back to her "book."

Where is the warm tone that this tome reportedly had according to various leaks before it was released?

News flash. Nothing is her fault and the blame lays on everyone else.

Plus the untruths.  Sarah, it is one thing to be a congenital liar, and even be caught on

tape spewing words that are clearly, let's be charitable, not what actually happened.

But don't put it in writing.

The McCain camp is already denying that she paid for her own vetting for the VP slot.

First of all, no one seems to have done that.  Vet her, that is. Why would any campaign bring Palin

on board if they knew the first thing about her?

McCain's folks are saying that the 50 grand Palin refers to are legal fees engendered

by problems that predated their interaction with the mavericky governor.

For example, to deal with the mountain of ethics violations that Palin was facing.

And probably would still be dealing with if she hadn't quit her position.

I know that resign is a grander word but when losers cut and run, semantics don't

matter.

Character is destiny.

Palin will blame and slime the folks whom she feels did her wrong.

After all, Katie Couric asked what magazines or newspapers the then Governor read.

How awful.

A softball query a kid could answer.

When Palin winks she can't help but contort her face into a sneer.

Like Cheney.

Indict him and Bush.

Charla Nash

Under life is scary, unfair and seemingly capricious, my heart goes out to Charla Nash.

She is the woman attacked by a friend's- I assume former - pet?  chimpanzee.

There are some creatures best left feral.  All orders of apes, snakes and Cheneys.

But I digress.  Oprah, who clearly has the ability to get any interview she wants, reveals

what this woman looks like now.  And right after the brutal assault. It is horrific to see.

Charla will never view her new visage because she is blind.  Her eyeballs pulled out of their sockets.

Most of her face was mauled and lost.  As well as her hands.

I grieve for this woman.  I wish her peace, strength and faith.

I pray that her life finds its new mission and Charla will experience happiness.

She tells Oprah that she never thinks about the attack and her focus is on getting well.

OMG.

I burn for days about being cut off in traffic.  I unfortunately inherited my mother's trait of never forgetting anything.

Good or bad.  My son can recall everything, but only dredges up positives memories.  It is a gift, what can I say.

I remember as a child, my mother, who was the kindest person I have ever met and trembled with sadness for the pain of others, would recount what her friends did to her in elementary school.

She also refused to forgive folks she never met:  i.e.  Kissinger, Nixon and Reagan.

Of course, Hitler.  And any tin horn dictator who amassed wealthy and murdered his people.

But I digress, again.

If Charla can get beyond this horrific event, it would be wonderful for her life and development.

Perhaps, she could give motivational workshops.  She is someone I would listen to, not like too many people who just spam others on the Internet. And brag about their financial prowess.

Or fake prophets with an array of new age rituals.

I am still outraged at the treasonous and carelessly ignorant acts of the Bush/Cheney reign.

INDICT THEM.

Gail Collins

One of the people I admire, Gail Collins, just advocated a unicameral national legislature.

Okay it was a throw away line at the end of one of her wonderfully penned OpEd pieces.

She is a columnist for the New York Times who weaves seemingly disparate facts together with fact and grace.

To me, there is no higher form of art.

Today, her thoughts ambled around the Congress and such, taking potshots at Sean Hannity and wending back to the Health Care Bill.

By the way, the rotund Fox commentator is so fat-  how fat is he?-  that random ripostes should hit the target.

Usually.  Always.

Added by the fact that he makes stuff up and fact checking is so bourgeois for that network.

They should change their slogan from Fair and Balanced to Whatever We Feel Like Saying.

But I digress.  Collins was citing the fact that Nebraska is the only state with a unicameral legislature.

She posits that it is not a bad idea for the country.

Doh.

No kidding.

Get rid of the Senate.

I have written before about deep sixing these folks.  Cull out the few, maybe one, admirable public servant and find a judgeship or executive job.

I am a benevolent person.  I don't even advocating prosecuting the corrupt ones.  We should be too busy judicially dealing with war criminals.

All those pompous, easily corrupted, 6 years hiatus from elections Senators need to be dismissed.

Disbanded.

Sent away.

The Congress, thus the lower house, will function as the national legislature.

Representatives who have to face the voters every other year.  Hopefully Sarah Palin will get involved in many of their campaigns.  Especially Republicans in ostensibly safe seats.

But I digress again.

Gail Collins is wonderful.

Getting rid of waste, I mean converting to a single house Congress, is an idea whose time has come.

Indict Bush.

Lou Dobbs

Thank you Lou Dobbs.

First of all, for leaving.  Getting off television.  

But secondarily for the aggregate collection of euphemisms.

Dobbs was allowed out of his multimillion dollar contract.

Fired.

He will be pursuing other interests.

Fired.

His leaving has nothing to do with disagreements with the head of his network.

Fired.

He wants to be a spokesperson for issues he believes in. 

So of course resign your television anchor job.

His resignation was not tendered due to massive public outcry about his horrible job performance.

Fired.

I wish people would just say what they are thinking.

Barney Frank helped bring down Freddie Mac and Sallie Mae.

Well, he did but folks are focused on: "he's gay."

"I watch Fox News because it is fair and balanced."

Translation: "I don't want to learn anything new."

"Bush is a great man...."

Frankly, I have no idea what that means.

All the citizens calling the current President a Nazi, a Fascist, a Socialists, have noticed something.

He is black. Wife- yup.  Kids.  Ditto.

Sometimes people who leave are not fired they just can not do the job.

Sarah Palin. 

Indict Bush.

Don't ask, don't tell

Unless you are dating someone younger- or conversely older- the thought of a different generation having sex is repulsive.

Celebrities notwithstanding.  Apparently, there is a lot of fantasizing about various folks.

But I am talking about people you know.

Okay, I never want to deal with my son's sexual activity.  Understandable.

But please keep whatever his friends are doing, out of my consciousness.

The standard eew moment used to be when children realized that their parents "did it"

Hence, their existence.  I believe that one of the problematic issues in step families and remarriage is the hard, cold fact that a mother or father is in fact, uh, active.

And not with the right person.

Just like the music teenagers enjoy.

I swore that I would never disparage what my child listened to when I reached the age of having such offspring.

After all, my generation gifted the world the talents of the Beatles and countless other bands and musicians.

Before my time:  Buddy Holly was a genius.

Imagine if he lived to thirty.  Ditto for Mozart but make that forty.

And now arhymatic rap, with profanity and iteration, abounds.  

I digress.

John Sebastian of the Lovin' Spoonful once compose and recorded a wistful ballad stating that he would remember what being a kid was like.

But by the time his child was growing up, the conditions had changed and the dangers had intensified.  His son no longer just wanted to cut school, but embark on far worse adventures.

Generations do separate us. We connect through families and love.

But usually what happens to baby boomers or Gen xers or the Greatest Generation, needs to stay there.

Indict Bush.

A happy childhood is vastly overrated

overrated.

I am kidding.  Inflicting pain on someone smaller than you, who are dependent on you, is unconscionable.

Just like starting a war on a whim when you the Commander in Chief.

But I digress.  And from the beginning.

So many people in this world are damaged.  But that does not lessen the pain for anyone of them.

There are children born to good people who suffered through need and loss or the cruelty of strangers.

I think of Michael Jackson who was failed as a child but also by the people who surrounded him as an adult.

It is hard when someone who can not drink or drive or vote becomes the breadwinner for the rest of the family.

Parents have authority because they are physically bigger. But when damaged children grow up, they may look adult but still need guidance.

Maybe not from the people who betrayed them when they were young.

I have many friends who would make the soul exchange for talent or passion.

To know what you want to do and be the best, what is it worth?

A horrifying childhood?  Adult demons?

Adulation, money and fame but no peace?

I am facing retirement not certain of my life's arc.  

Professional, I feel that I never really had a toehold.

Of course I made the choice to raise a child and put myself on mommy tract.

Which exists by the way; leaves the station every morning on the way to daycare, school or camp.

Some seem to fall into their talent, hone it and enjoy life.  Johnny Depp comes to mind.

Picasso.  

I'm certain that there are more.

Genius or talent does not always equate to sorrow or loss.

Sometimes outrageous actions are writ by the small and ordinary.

George W. Bush engineered the partial collapse of the world.

And he does not appear to loss much sleep.

Let's change that.

Indict him.

Child Stars

I am not ready to write off the Gosselin kids.  

I hope that one or both of their parents start putting their children's needs first.

Hard to care about your kids when you are in the south of France with what appears to be a very unstable young woman.

Ditto for the mother.  How can you tan, work out, go to the nail salon- and these are admitted addictions- when you have an octet of children.

That being said, they all could grow up to lead normal and happy lives. 

Again not certain what normal or happy constitutes.

There is a myth about child stars who are forced into high end servitude.

The lurid tales of crashing adulthood; rife with drugs,suicide, illegal activities.

Michael Jackson, it was bemoaned, hated his so called lost childhood.

Too many, in fact the majority of the world, don't have idyllic beginnings.

Even those born in relatively wealthy surrounds, could suffer from want or abuse.

The seminal part of Jackson's life was crucial in creating the superstar.

Now, theorists from OK and Us Magazines are speculating that perhaps  MJ's downfall did not come from his father but rather painkillers prescribed after his hair caught on fire during a Pepsi commercial.

The pain and the subsequent addictions began then.

See, it is not strict and demanding parents but carbonated sugar water.

Maybe the crashing of childhood stars seems more prevalent because of the media interest.

Too many of us falter, fail or worse with the pressures of life.

I see evidence of this daily, concerning folks who do not have trust funds or talent already honed to fall back on.

For every celebrity who can not make the transition, there is Jodie Foster.

Tiger Woods.

Mayim Bialik.

Stardom or fame provide more opportunities and wealth to help craft a better life.

Of course a subset of this genre are the offspring of the famous who bathe in advantages.

But again, there are countless privileged children who recognize that they have extraordinary circumstances.

And do good.  For themselves and the world.

And there is George W. Bush.

Indict him.

A modest plan

My grandmother used to say that everyone in jail should be in a hospital and all those folks in hospitals, well, they needed to be in jail.

She lived to just a few months shy of 100 years.  Her final decade was awful- she was bedridden and suffering.

Most of her life she was robust and hale.

But her larger point, made when she was younger, was that we must fight for good health and society is obligated to look at the reasons people break the law.

As a child, I was dizzied by the logic and the apparent constant level of activity.  If people imprisoned were transported to hospitals, then by my grandmother's declaration, they needed to be back in jail.  

Of course, there is unfortunately, illness.  And accidents.  Society needs medical care.

This is not a demand for the public option.  Although, pass it or get out.

But rather the Freaky Friday like idea my grandmother had.

I have one.  All bankers will be transferred to the military and our current soldiers are

now financial "experts."

Seriously.

I know that a majority of our troops are not trained nor do they have experience in this field.

But could it possibly be worse?

And someone please replace Geithner.  Anyone.  Pick a soldier on KP or cleaning the latrines, give him

a 10,000 dollar suit and send him to Washington.

Our country is having trouble attracting recruits.  No wonder.  Bush stumbled into not one but two wars with

absolutely no planning.  Schools put more preliminary work into a bake sale.

And President Obama hasn't changed the scenario much.

Too many soldiers are sent on repeat missions to war zones.

Problem solved. " Mr. Entitled, in lieu of a 6 figure bonus, we are giving you a new wardrobe, boots, a gun and sending you abroad."

The money now being passed out to criminals or fools, could be used for veteran services.

The moronic head of AIG- you think you are doing God's work by destroying the world economy....?

How about serving your country?

See, with one idea, I have solved the problems of insufficient troops, not enough money for veterans' needs

and how to deal with the Wall Street crowd.

You are certainly welcome.

Indict Bush.

Poor poor little Palins. And baby daddy too.

the poor Palin progeny.

Why is it that I know their names.  And the succeeding generation as well?

John McCain has a gaggle of kids and I could ID them- except Meghan- in a line-up

Or come up with their names.

I always forget the appellation of the elder Obama daughter.  It begins with an "m" and sounds vaguely Hawaiian.

Of course Piper, Willow, Track, Tripp, Truck, Turkey  all sound like drunk roll call in a trailer park.

In other words, fairly memorable names.

But the real reason that I know these children is that they are mere campaign props for their mother's ambition.

You're pregnant, unmarried and 17 while I preach abstinence.  Just hold your baby brother over your ever enlarging belly.

I support this war in Iraq-  don't understand it but know my constituency wants me in favor of  this debacle, I mean quest for freedom.

Quick, one of the kids needs to enlist. Can't be the oldest girl-  she's pregnant.  Has to be Truck or Track. Whatever.

No one has commented on me in forty minutes.  Have to start a feud with someone.

Willow-  it is your turn.  To take one for the team.

Chutzpah- is parading your family around, using them for photo ops and other chores and then whining when anyone else talks about them.

Just an aside, but how does an unmarried single mother of 18 become the face of abstinence?

Maybe as reality.  

If you think that precluding sex education and birth control to teenagers can work- you're wrong.

Of course, I can not attest to what is in Sarah Palin's mind.  Or even if she has one.

But actions beget narratives.

Children- front and center.  Except you, the one in Iraq.

Short one, come here and hold the baby.  Memo to self.  Exploit his condition some more and then dump him on one of his sisters.

When my son was two, a casting agent stopped us in the streets of Baltimore. She gave me her card and said that he had the look they needed.

He was, unbiasedly speaking, adorable.

But I would never put him in a position to be judged on superficial criteria or pushed toward a career replete with rejection.  That must be his choice.

Because kids grow up.  

And they chose your nursing home and can write tell all books.

Indict Bush.

Jon and Kate- early observations

My mother used to tell me never to envy another person because no one could ever be certainof someone else's life. 

And if in fact said existence was perfect, it all could change in a nano second.

I believe that one of the reasons that the Jon and Kate meltdown is so fascinating is due to the fact that so many realities are swirling around.

There is of course the unmitigated bullshit, the narrative fiction used to twine together the television program.

Contrasted against the manufactured reality of the show itself.  Think about the wonderful commercial if film crews ran the world as seen in the execution of a wedding.

Hilarious and clearly insightful to the realness of the Gosselin family life.

The third reality is the what is actually happening.

One, maybe two spouses are cheating.  Both are unhappy.

They will probably divorce and if not, they should.

No one, as in related by blood, appears to be watching the children.

The original TLC website still luxuriates in the fairy tale of love at first sight which provides the fuel for dealing with 8 children.

But now, the youngsters, the true stars, are like trained seals.

Crossover appearances are happening constantly and the offspring, in unison, are saying their lines.

Thank you Emeril for stopping by to cook for us.  Please call social services on our behalf as soon as possible.

I don't believe that anyone would appear a hero to their valet or when cameras and then paparazzi are trained on them constantly.

But for pity's sake Kate, give your daughter some water.  She is part of the proverbial golden goose that keeps you tanned with seemingly unlimited cell phone minutes.

The saddest part of this story is the upcoming reality of the lives the children will try to navigate.

Will any of the millions earned be set aside for college or therapy?

What occurs when they all realize how different and pimped out their childhood was.

Also, there appears that no part of their lives can not be easily accessed on-line.

Horrible parents, selfish choices and terrible programing.

Indict Bush